Friday, August 28, 2009

You come in to MY HOUSE and attack MY FAMILY!?!

-- or -- SCORPIONS ATTACK!!!


So 1am last night, Bon and I are fast asleep - suddenly, Bon shoots right up and grabs his foot. He's shouting in pain so I ask him if he was having a charlie horse. He's like "no, something stabbed me!" I have no clue what he's talking about, so I start to fall back to sleep (I'm such a nurturing wife!) and he hobbles to the bathroom to inspect his foot. He's almost crying in pain so I go check it out too, but we can't see anything. I get back in to bed and Bon realizes "I know what did it - it was a scorpion! Jessie, get out of the bed!!!" So I get BACK out of bed and shake out the sheets but don't see anything. (at this point, I'm overcome by a massive wave of nausea from being woken up so abruptly so I run in to our other bathroom and almost pass out) So poor, stung Bon is left to hunt down and kill the predator himself which he quickly finds at the foot of the bed on our bedskirt. He hobbles out to the kitchen and grabs our Raid and returns to douse the monster with a generous spray. Finally, we both recover enough to drag ourselves out to the computer and call poison control (after I disposed of the carcass - man, that thing was crazy looking!).

Poison control said the symptoms would last a good 6-7 hours. I think Bon can attest to that and then some! Poor guy wanted to chop his foot off!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Kids Say the Darndest Things, Don't They?

So Froggybaby's comment on my last post got me thinking: kids really don't have a filter between their brain and mouth (I still don't have one) which can lead to some pretty funny revelations. Heck, looking back, I can think of several things I said that probably made my parents want to melt in to the floor. I'm gonna share my favorite oh-no-they-didn't tale and then I want everyone to share their favorite story too (it can be something someone else's kid said or something your own child said - if you want to own up to it) (c'mon, I need some comfort before starting in Primary tomorrow!)

So, back when I was eighteen, a family asked me to babysit their 5 year old daughter and their 2 year old son. Just to give some background, I had never met the family before - they were friends of a family in my ward; the mother was an avid Mary Kay "consultant" and the father was the pastor at their church. I got the vibe that they were very...how do I say this?..."into their image".

Anyway, towards the end of the babysitting evening, I was coloring with the little girl. We were drawing pictures for each other, so I thought I'd be all cutesy and draw a picture of her family. She was very excited about it and it inspired her to draw a picture of her dad. When she was done, she handed it to me and proceed to explain her 5 year old scribbles:

"This is my dad sitting in front of the mirror. He takes his hair off every night in front of the mirror. See, he's brushing it."

!!!!!

I had no idea what to say to that, so we just went back to coloring. I tell ya, it was really hard not to rake my eyes over the dad's hairline when the parents got back home!