Our location has been compromised - it's no longer safe here.

After two and a half years of successful hiding, the enemy has found us and begun assaults.

The enemy?

These soulless monsters:


Scorpions.

Now, I know scorpions are super common here in Arizona - and we've been uncannily fortunate to not have seen any in our apartment until now - but I just don't feel safe now that I've spotted one in our home. (I've seen one and Bon's killed 2 babies.)

My first encounter was a few weeks ago when my mom was here. I was sitting at the kitchen table, putting my makeup on and my mom was sitting over on the couch. She looked over at the kitchen counters and saw a "cricket" down in the corner. She got a shoe a went over to kill it.

"Oh wow - this cricket is HUGE!" I heard her comment. I couldn't see it from where I was sitting, so I just continued with my makeup.

"Well, no, maybe it's not a cricket. It must be a spider," she continued. I suggested that maybe it was a Wolf Spider (very creepy guys). She still didn't seem satisfied with that diagnosis, but launched the shoe at the insect none the less.

I heard her mutter that it wasn't dead and then SHREIK!

I whipped around and saw the cricket/spider chasing after my mom.

What creature chases after it's attacker?? Especially when the attacker is 100 times it's size!

My brain clicked on, "Mom, that's a scorpion! Watch out!!!"

Thankfully, my mom threw the shoe down one more time and was able to crush the 2 inch monster.

But, imagine what could've happened if she hadn't killed him and he'd stung her! The thing about scorpions that scares me is that they can actually poison and KILL you! I mean, crickets, ants, and spiders are all annoying and give me the willies - but a scorpion could knock you out!

I just feel like, now that we've been found out, the scorpions are going to flood our doors, each trying it's hand at attacking us!

Jello, jello - yum, yum, YUM!

Normally, I don't have any recipes to share that couldn't be found on the back of a box. So it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure (5 points for movie reference) that I share this 4th-of-July-traditional-dessert with you! My mom would make it every year and I LOVED it - it was light and fresh enough that it didn't weigh you down in the humid Minnesota summer, but ice-creamy and dessert-y enough that it was a certainly a special treat.

Alright, here we go: (and of course, because I am always punished by Murphy's Law: I could make this recipe with my eyes closed last summer - but because I decided to document this batch and post it for the world to see, I keep messing up. Please don't judge me.)

2 packages of jello (the smaller boxes - but of course, I grabbed the larger boxes this time - d'oh)
2 cups boiling water
3/4 cup cold water
2 cups vanilla ice cream
Cool Whip
fruit*

Boil 1 cup water.
Add in jello mix. Stir well.
Add in 2 cups ice cream.
Stir till ice cream has dissolved.
you should have a thick, frothy soup.
Pour mixture into serving bowl and refrigerate for 1 hour or until mixture has set.

In a separate pan, (I usually wait for a little bit before I start this step to give the first part some extra time to set)
Boil 1 cup water.
Add in jello mix. Stir well.
Add 3/4 cup COLD water.
Refrigerate till almost solid.

Once the jello/ice cream mix is set, layer the fruit on it.
Then pour the not-quite-set jello on top of all of that.
Refrigerate again until jello is completely set.
Finish with Cool Whip.

Voila!

*naturally, it's best to coordinate your jello flavor with the fruit choice. My mom would always do a peach combo - but none of Bon's family like peaches, so I do a raspberry combo (I've also done blackberry with much success).


p.s. - I can't remember if I posted this recipe last summer...but since that blog has since been erased, I guess it doesn't much matter...

A Phone Conversation from my Third Day at Work

me: (very bubbly) Lifespan Behavioral Health, this is Jessie - how can I help you?

caller: (in a rushed tone) Yeah, I need to speak to Dr. Peterson.

me: (still bubbly) I'm sorry, she's out of the office today. But I can get a message to her!

caller: (hesitates but then hurries on) K. This is _____ from :Facility: and it's about :Patient's Name: The number is _______.

me: Ok! Is there any message I can tell her as well?

caller: Uh, yes, it's urgent - the patient is being investigated for homicide.

me: ...........uuhhh, okay......



The doctor assured me this was the first call of that nature they'd ever gotten. I guess my job is a "baptism by fire" sort of place...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent...until proven guilty...

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow...

My time with the internet is going to be much more limited now that I have a job.

Yes, you read it right - I am employed. (this is job number six out here for those of you that are counting...) I started this past Monday. It's a small mental health clinic (Bon hopes I can get some treatment myself) and I am the "front office/administrative assistant" person.

So far, so good.

I do miss the internet, though...

After Two and a Half Years of Living Here...

...I finally figured out that if I close the blinds the OTHER WAY, I won't wake up to the morning sun shining in my eyes.

I Think I Can?

This past week, Bon and I have found ourselves eating a lot of foods from cans - soups, stews, Chef Boyardee, Home Style Bakes (I particularly recommend the Chicken and Biscuits). No big deal, except that our can-opener is broken. You'd think we'd remember this every time we reach for a canned meal - but, no - we just begin to open the can with the opener and realize that we made a mistake.

Why is our can-opener broken? (and just to clarify, I'm talking about a manual, hand-operated one - not an electric one) Because of me. Ever since I was little, I've always struggled with opening cans with a can-opener. I think it's because I'm left handed; I don't know why that would affect things, but it just does. (side note: I can only operate "left-handed" scissors with my right hand - they won't cut the paper if I try with my left hand. weird.)

Anyway, somehow our can-opener has gone completely defunkt. Opening cans has now become a two person job. It's quite a scene to witness when we need to open a can: we attach the opener to the can as usual, then Bon uses one hand to tightly hold the two handles together so the sharp blade part will actually reach the can top to cut it, he uses his other hand to rotate the can, one of my hands does the same, while my other hand cranks the handle in the opposite direction as specified on the opener. Our arms are all twisted around each others' and we have to stop and restart frequently to readjust the opener.

It's quite the ordeal and very hilarious to watch, I'm sure.

"We're just a two-man novelty band"

So a couple of months ago (when we still had money to spend somewhat freely), Bon and I purchased tickets to see Flight of the Conchords. It was last night, and it was awesome.

For those of you who aren't familiar with them, let me introduce you:
"Flight of the Conchords is a Grammy Award-winning New Zealand comedy duo composed of Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement. Billing themselves as "Formerly New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo accapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo", the group uses a combination of witty observation, characterisation and acoustic folk guitars. The duo's comedy and music became the basis of a BBC radio series and then an American television series, which premiered in 2007, also called Flight of the Conchords." (source: Wikipedia)

We've watched the first season of their HBO show (season 2 is on now, but we don't have HBO, so we'll have to wait for it to come out on dvd) and have their cd. Both are hysterical. The two guys are so clever and funny!

Anyhoo, the live show was just as awesome! It was basically just the two of them - sitting on stools with their guitars, surrounded by some synthesizers and keyboards - fiddling on their intstruments and playing songs. It wasn't stand-up comedy or a full-out concert; it was a beautiful blend. After a song or two, they'd take a break and just go back and forth with some pithy banter (although, the crowd was obnoxious and would keep yelling out - stupid drunk people who think it's a one-on-one conversation between them and the preformers) and then go back to their songs. I think what I liked best about it was that, even though we were the second-to-last row in the whole place, it still felt like they were there just to hang out and have fun. A couple of times, Bret forgot his lines in the middle of a song and Jemaine would tease him and get him started back up - no pressure, just two guys having fun.

Anyway, Bon and I loved it! We were cracking up the whole time. On our way back out to our car, we saw a queue of people gathered outside of the tour buses out back - so we went and joined them. We stood out there for about an hour, waiting for Bret and Jemaine, but they had already escaped out a different door. Alas. But it was still a super fun night!

I'm including two videos - one is from their tv show and the other is from one of their live preformances (they did this one at our concert last night - it's kind of long, but it's worth it).