After two and a half years of successful hiding, the enemy has found us and begun assaults.
The enemy?
These soulless monsters:

Scorpions.
Now, I know scorpions are super common here in Arizona - and we've been uncannily fortunate to not have seen any in our apartment until now - but I just don't feel safe now that I've spotted one in our home. (I've seen one and Bon's killed 2 babies.)
My first encounter was a few weeks ago when my mom was here. I was sitting at the kitchen table, putting my makeup on and my mom was sitting over on the couch. She looked over at the kitchen counters and saw a "cricket" down in the corner. She got a shoe a went over to kill it.
"Oh wow - this cricket is HUGE!" I heard her comment. I couldn't see it from where I was sitting, so I just continued with my makeup.
"Well, no, maybe it's not a cricket. It must be a spider," she continued. I suggested that maybe it was a Wolf Spider (very creepy guys). She still didn't seem satisfied with that diagnosis, but launched the shoe at the insect none the less.
I heard her mutter that it wasn't dead and then SHREIK!
I whipped around and saw the cricket/spider
chasing after my mom.
What creature chases after it's attacker?? Especially when the attacker is 100 times it's size! My brain clicked on, "Mom, that's a scorpion! Watch out!!!"
Thankfully, my mom threw the shoe down one more time and was able to crush the 2 inch monster.
But, imagine what could've happened if she hadn't killed him and he'd stung her! The thing about scorpions that scares me is that they can actually poison and KILL you! I mean, crickets, ants, and spiders are all annoying and give me the willies - but a scorpion could knock you out!
I just feel like, now that we've been found out, the scorpions are going to flood our doors, each trying it's hand at attacking us!
So 1am last night, Bon and I are fast asleep - suddenly, Bon shoots right up and grabs his foot. He's shouting in pain so I ask him if he was having a charlie horse. He's like "no, something stabbed me!" I have no clue what he's talking about, so I start to fall back to sleep (I'm such a nurturing wife!) and he hobbles to the bathroom to inspect his foot. He's almost crying in pain so I go check it out too, but we can't see anything. I get back in to bed and Bon realizes "I know what did it - it was a scorpion! Jessie, get out of the bed!!!" So I get BACK out of bed and shake out the sheets but don't see anything. (at this point, I'm overcome by a massive wave of nausea from being woken up so abruptly so I run in to our other bathroom and almost pass out) So poor, stung Bon is left to hunt down and kill the predator himself which he quickly finds at the foot of the bed on our bedskirt. He hobbles out to the kitchen and grabs our Raid and returns to douse the monster with a generous spray. Finally, we both recover enough to drag ourselves out to the computer and call poison control (after I disposed of the carcass - man, that thing was crazy looking!).
Poison control said the symptoms would last a good 6-7 hours. I think Bon can attest to that and then some! Poor guy wanted to chop his foot off!